My Tuppence Worth

Take a look at any photo of me from the last seven years and you will see one constant, a little yellow band on my right wrist.

The Livestrong foundation and its distinctive band immediately appealed, Lance Armstrongs cancer awareness charity formed off the back of his own plight struck a chord, my mom had breast cancer 10 years ago and the struggle he outlined in his book left me reading late into the night.

Since then I have defended Armstrong from friends and faceless biking forum members who accused him of being a drugs cheat.  I could not, or maybe would not accept that this cycling god who went from Triathlon champion to young world champion to 'Cancer Survivor' and later a multi Tour de France winner would resort to drugs, especially, as he went through the poisonous treatment of Chemotherapy.

I wanted to believe that things like that happened, those clinging to life by the thinnest of threads can overcome the odds and become winners.

I even handed Mum my copy of Armstrongs book during her own course of Chemotherapy hoping to give her a degree of hope in her own darkness.

The overwhelming amount of evidence presented over the last couple of months, along with Armstrongs decision not to contest the case any longer has finally answered one of the biggest questions to dominate professional cycling for the past 15 years.

I can't be arsed to get into the detail of USDA reports and the UCI, who I generally have a rather low opinion of, but one this is for sure, the yellow band is currently residing in a landfill somewhere.. in it's place is this;

Bikepure.org please take a look

"Used To" doesn't count

That's the thought which found itself in my head as I paused momentarily mid-air during the second of my over the bars incidents this evening.

It was one of those rides which started badly and rapidly pointed its nose downhill. 

After extolling the virtues of my Exposure 6 pack light to a work colleague today the back panel fell out following a slight bump through a gully.

Maybe that was an omen.

Something became clear though, that in the market of the present using past exploits as currency can count for nothing at all.

A lot of new riders now turn up for the Wednesday night ride, I'm just a lad who has started turning up and happens to know the decent riders. 

Sitting behind someone on either a climb or descent and thinking how much quicker I used to be, or that I used to beat the lads disappearing over the horizon on this very trail means nothing; Respect is earned

So, no more used to, it's all about the now

Thankyou, Goodbye and Hello

May of last year saw me move to Sheffield for 3 months.  An offer of a temporary contract ending my jobless state, last Thursday I said goodbye to a group of people I've come to regards as good friends and came home.

It's fair to say that when I arrived I was considered as a wide eyed southerner.  I quickly adapted, the sharp suit went to be replaced by a Northerners vocabularly.

Living as a family man Friday to Sunday and then as a Singleton Monday to Thursday took some getting used to, luckily I had a bike and plenty of work to keep myself busy.  A few lads I made contact with from Singletrack offered to show me their local trails which was fantastic, I extend the same to them should they see themselves in the Forest Of Dean at any time.

I have fond memories of warm summer evenings spent turning pedals over long road rides, setting out with the intention of getting lost in order to find new and seemingly endless beauty in the Peak District roads.  Each ride different from the last but always similar in the feeling it left me with.. contentment from tired legs.

In recent months however I have not moved far from my laptop and books, an exam and then a dissertation has stopped the potential for riding and a house move at home has piled pressure on.  This has meant that I arrived home on Thursday night feeling close to burn out and probably as unfit as I have been in a long while.  The gym membership stopped long ago to be replaced by a daily commute to work.  10 miles a day doesnt' really cut it.  I admit though, in the last few weeks I've relished the lack of fitness knowing that I will soon be carving out new fitness ahead of next year.

Kate has suffered phone calls in the evenings where a dark mood has surfaced from deep in me, loneliness seemed at times to be my only companion and I struggled to acknowledge the longterm benefit the job was doing.  Whilst I was occasionally unable to see light at the end of a tunnel she managed to calmly talk me through, putting perspective on things and giving me a boost until my weekend.  Weekends have been a chance to recharge, not from work like most people, but to recharge on family, enough hopefully to last me until the following weekend.

Now, though, now I'm home, back, amongst loved ones and friends.  It is said that you don't know what you've got til it's gone and I know how true it is.  I want to remember the darkness, remember the loneliness to ensure I don't take friends or family for granted again.

My time in Sheffield has given me more than I realised at the time.  I've found a new desire for self improvement and the knowledge I've got the mental strength to follow change through. I've made new friends and most of all, I've learnt to appreciate the people at home.

So thankyou Sheffield and for now, at least goodbye

Stagnation

A horrible word, a word which implies that no forward movement or development has occurred.  In certain areas of my life that rings 100% true, in others, it could not be further from the truth.

During my last blog post I mentioned the frenetic nature of life at home.  Little in the way of riding except for 24/12 and a trip to Brechfa but one hell of a journey through one of the most stressful things you can willingly enter into.

Moving house.. the minute our offer on a house both myself and Kate fell in love with on first sight was accepted a tension introduced itself across my shoulders which failed to dissipate until the key was being turned in the lock for the first time.  Lessons I've learned from the whole experience is that Solicitors and Estate Agents will never form the backbone of my Christmas Card list and that if you want something doing you may as well do it yourself, regardless of how much money you're paying someone to do it for you.

24/12 went well, conditions were generally horrendous and our planned meet up with a few friends failed to go ahead when Plymouth became an island the night before the race started.  We finished 8th in the Male Pairs for the 12 hour race and, despite having a real shortage of miles in my legs I got through unscathed due to 98% determination and 2% fitness.

Since then there has been another complete lack of riding, my beloved Scandal sits awaiting the post ride fettle it desperately needs in a new over sized shed at the bottom of our new over sized garden and I swear I can feel my legs shrinking by the day.  Any saddle arse interaction has come in the form of a 10 mile daily commute, something that has failed to occur this week after a trajectory error with a chisel saw me pay 2 visits to the local A&E on Sunday to have my thumb glued.

The safety course rattles on, I'm adding the finishing touches to my final project but shutting down my laptop after a long day at work to reopen another for yet more typing takes its toll.

On a positive note, my 15 month exile to South Yorkshire is coming to an end after I landed a dream job close to home, it's a big thing for me, I worked damned hard in amongst the cloud of stuff filling my head to do my homework on the Company and how I could make a positive impact.  I'm determined to repay the job offer through total commitment, it's not until you lose your family for a period of time that you realise how much you need them in your life on a daily basis.

I feel as though the summer has been a tunnel, I've stumbled through the dark and a spot of light in front of me is growing daily, the course and working away from home will finish in the same week.  I consider this the bottom of the dip, I want to get back out on the trails of home with long term friends without guilt of ignoring my family.  Next year is taking shape in my head, this one has been consigned to the drawer marked 'experience'.

Stagnation? maybe to an extent, but any ship exiting the doldrums will soon feel the wind filling its sails and progress towards its goal being made

Ye Gods

Two months without a post.. it's not that I haven't wanted to, honest;

I've just had bugger all of interest to say, no ground breaking reveleations there then.  Lack of interesting conversation very rarely keeps me quiet and, if I'm honest, I have been doing stuff.

Interesting stuff if you reside at ABR Towers, of little more than passing 'that's nice dear' interest to the rest of the world.

Our house has been put on the market, viewed and sold, we, in turn have viewed, put in offers, had a house withdrawn from sale from under our noses, viewed some more and finally (it was a week, but a week is a long time when you have my attention span) had an offer accepted.  Our future home currently lies in the hands of money grabbing solicitors with a frenchman's opinion on what constitutes hard work, I expect to move in sometime around New Year, what year remains an exciting mystery..

I've also ridden.  A trip to Brechfa and plenty of forays in the Forest with old riding buddies that prove, no matter the time between meetings, true mates are always pleased to see you (and happily prove it by mercilessly piss taking everything you do or say).

I'm currently neck deep in revision for an upcoming exam, an exam that takes place just before 24/12, a weekend I'm hugely looking forward to, it'll be an opportunity to ride with Rex and camp in our oversized tent with family.

Right, that's the two month thing sorted, back to the books

Keep pedalling!

April already

Doesn't time fly when you're enjoying yourself*

So my last post was just ahead of the Wentwood 50.  An event that I completed in a rather disappointing time, but with a smile on my face.  The enduro landed bang in the middle of a cracking spell of weather and this made for rather novel issue for the UK.. I spotted a fair number of riders writhing on the floor with cramps in various bits.

The course however, was fantastic, plenty of new bits were added from the 2011 version and they had moved things around abit to make the whole thing tough but rewarding. 

My riding has really been low in both quality and quantity if I'm honest, if 'Fitness' and 'Slack' were placed on opposite ends of a seesaw then 'Slack' would be winning lardy butt down at present.

I went to Afan a few weeks ago, I'd not visited for a good couple of years and couldn't remember any of it.  It was a good day and we seemed blessed on the whole with the weather.  I could feel my riding improve as the day wore on and, on the final descent removed fingers from brakes and concentrated on attack. 

This new and improved attitude served me well for 75% of the descent until the chain came off, not a problem, I hopped off and discovered the cage of my rear mech was bent.. how the hell that happened I can't say.  All I know is that to buy the replacement will cost me £52.. a new mech will cost me £53.. SRAM really are a bunch of thieving arses aren't they?

Singlespeed it is then...

*up to your eyes in work can't really be classed as enjoyment can it?

Perfect Prep?

I sometimes wonder whether the man with his eye on the big game is having a laugh at my expense.  During my last event of 2011 my rear shifter decided to give up the ghost a mere 200 metres before the start line.  Hurried replacement and a charge to the line in time to see my fellow competitors moving off were the order of the day.

In order to get myself ready for Wentwood my preparation started last night... and ended this morning with nothing in between.

A thorough clean off after Tuesdays cracking ride around Rivelin Valley saw me finding a few little things that need attention.

My 10 month old Hope BB is making noises that 10 month old bottom brackets shouldn't and, more annoying, my rear SRAM X9 shifter decided that it wanted to play the same game as the front one did last year.

Cue swearing, late night google searches and dozens of attempts to get little springs back into tinier spaces in the old shifter.

I eventually gave up on the idea of repair some time past midnight and dejectedly switched searching the net from 'Repair' to 'Buy'.

Two things spring to mind when considering SRAM;

1) When they work, they're fantastic
2) When you need to buy them they're bastard expensive

A final decision saw Chainreactions relieve me of yet more of CJ's inheritance in the vain hope they will deliver in time for sundays start line.

A frustrated text to Nic this morning proved the theory that seeing things the next morning always makes it seem a bit better.  The offer of a loaned shifter whilst he attempts a second SRAM warranty replacement for me in as many months and the suggestion that a similar try with Hope will probably see me right on the Bottom Bracket front.

I know that the internet based cycles stores are the first stop off point for many cyclists, but you can't beat the service from your local one.

So, my prep hasn't been perfect, the bike will need more work the day before the event, my legs have less miles in than I had hoped and I have a sleep deficit last seen when CJ was about 2 weeks old.

At least I've got the all the bad stuff out of the way eh?